Generally, we think of elders in a diminished capacity. Totally different from the young vibrant person we once knew. After all, they move more slowly, repeat the same stories multiple times, end conversations abruptly; their physical strength diminishes, and so on. Aging is not seen as a stage of developing, instead it is viewed by most as a stage of diminishing capacity.
At Angel Care we are providing instruction and tools for our care givers that offer new ways for them to understand the behavior of our seniors thereby enhancing their ability to interact and communicate with our senior clients. We are abolishing the notion of “diminished capacity” and teach the understanding of developmental tasks for older adults.
 First, we assist our caregivers in understanding what drives our seniors. The two drivers are their desire to maintain control and establishing their legacy. Legacy is defined as the values by which we want our lives to be remembered. Searching for legacy is the primary psychological event of aging and the process emerges only when control issues are resolved according to David Solie M.S. P.A.* He explains that seniors reexamine events in their lives with the enhanced perspective of age.
The loss of communal network in our society has caused many of us to lose contact with older family members who could give us perspectives on our lives. Instead society and personal lives are busy, face-paced and over stimulated. We lose patience with our seniors who cannot keep up with our pace. Sadly, we have lost, forgotten or never knew how to value our senior adults.
If we still lived in communal societies, we would revere our elders and nourish them developmentally. We would be able to learn from their experiences and the older person would be remembered exactly the way he or she wants to be.
Communication is a skill. If an older adult is asked the right question, we will receive a meaningful answer. By using the right language that connects, the older adult may reveal much information.
 Angel Care caregivers are provided with instruction that teaches the aging process and how that process affects communication. For example, we discuss and explore why a 2 year old child may have a tantrum and the parent of the child exhibits unlimited patience, love and understanding yet little to no patience is shown when an 80 year old suddenly changes his or her mind about a well planned change that will benefit them.
Caregivers at Angel Care are instructed on the basic process of personality development from infancy to old age. We believe that an understanding of this process creates an appreciation of what motivates the older adult thereby closing the gap in our understanding of older adults. We must understand the developmental tasks associated with getting old to enhance our ability to communicate effectively with this age group. Once we have an understanding of the developmental tasks, the clash with our elders will fade because we have stopped fighting for the one thing they will not surrender and that is the control to manage their lives and form their legacies.
“Before you contradict an old man, my fair friend, you should endeavor to understand him”
--George Santayana |
