| When we address the prevention part of the mission, we focus on our Community Education and Outreach efforts that help identify abusive relationship patterns; reinforce healthy, non-violent interactions; and encourage the discussion of domestic violence as a national health concern and a human rights issue that affects our entire community.
 In 1864, the state court of North Carolina ruled that the law would permit a husband “to use towards his wife such a degree of force as is necessary to control an unruly temper and make her behave herself” and that in these matters, “the law will not invade the domestic forum, or go behind the curtain.”1 In 2011, with all states prosecuting crimes of intimate partner violence, we certainly have made enough progress in holding abusers legally responsible for their crimes to make this court ruling archaic and absurd.
Unfortunately, it is the sentiment in the latter part of this statement that still holds too much credibility to be easily dismissed. Far too many of us are not willing to “invade the domestic forum, or go behind the curtain” to hold abusers responsible for what is often considered a private family or relationship problem. In essence, we draw the curtain on those who are being abused.
The Center for Disease Control (CDC) estimates that one in four women (approximately 3 million women per year) and one in nine men in the United States will be a victim of domestic violence, which is defined as a pattern of abusive behavior through which one partner maintains dominance and control over another in an intimate relationship. The abuse may be physical, sexual, verbal, and/or emotional. The CDC also estimates that domestic violence costs the United States populace $5.8 billion dollars annually, $4.1 billion of that in absorbed costs of direct medical and mental health services. The eight million paid work days that victims miss each year are the equivalent of 32,000 full-time jobs.2 We are all connected to this issue. Odds are you know people who are intimately affected by domestic violence. They could be your friends, family members, neighbors, co-workers—or children.
In 2008, Liz Claiborne Inc. surveyed middle and high school students nationwide on their relationships and the relationships of their friends. What they discovered was that a staggering one in five teenagers report being hit, slapped, or pushed by a dating partner, and 57% of teens know someone who has been physically or verbally abusive to a dating partner.3 A national poll, created by The Empower Program, revealed that 80% of parents don’t consider Teen Dating Violence an issue at their children’s schools. 4
 We do, and we take every opportunity to talk about relationship violence and help raise awareness of what abuse looks and feels like, especially in our earliest relationships, the ones that help establish life-long patterns. Prevention begins with understanding that truly loving relationships don’t contain violence. In our own domestic forums, we must pledge to be nonviolent and assert our absolute right to relationships without abuse. But also in our community, we must draw back the curtain and address the reality that domestic violence affects us all.
Through the Samaritan House Community Outreach and Education program, we provide information to help you start a conversation. Contact us if you need help finding the right words or if you are interested in a group presentation on recognizing abuse and building healthy relationships. Speak up, reach out, and work with us to help prevent dating and domestic violence.
1. State vs. Jesse Black, Supreme Court of North Carolina, Raleigh, 60 N.C. 266, June, 1864
2. Cost of Intimate Partner Violence Against Women in the United States, 2003 Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, National Centers for Injury Prevention and Control, Atlanta GA
3. Tween and Teen Dating Violence and Abuse Study, February 2008, Liz Claiborne, Inc., www.loveisrespect.org
4. The Empower Program, Violence as a Rite of Passage, 2000
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